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June 2014


By Beverley Carter

Happy Fathers Day to all those great dads who are taking care of their families in the way that God planned from the beginning.
“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it…” – Genesis 1:27-28
Blessed are the children who have parents who believe in God’s ideal for a happy family. Sadly today many children don’t get the love or direction to help them grow up to be balanced and happy adults.
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals.
The following are five excerpts from the book “Fatherhood” by Ross Parke.
The book is mainly made up of observations from child psychologists that show what helps to make a good father.
1. Baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate, and stimulating play during infancy, were more popular later as school children. When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others.
2. Fathers tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. By doing so the children learn to take responsibility for their own actions.
3. Generally speaking, the more actively involved and interested a father is in his children’s care and education, the more intellectually developed his children are. This holds true for daughters as well as sons.
4. Moral development is another area where fathers have special influence. Caring fathers provide guidance and direction, not only by what they teach them, but also by being good role models.  Children from such homes were well liked at school; they were thoughtful and respectful to other students. They also had more empathy (the ability to see a situation from another person’s viewpoint) if they had secure attachments to their father.
5. Although many teenagers rely more upon their mothers for emotional support, the relationship with fathers continues to be important. Teenagers rely more upon their fathers for conversation, advice, and just ‘being there.’ Adolescents who felt their fathers were ‘available’ to them had fewer conflicts with their friends.
From these few observations, one can see just how important the role of the father is. I’d like to add one more of their observations to one of mine; one of the most important ways a father influences his children is his interaction with his children’s mother. This is because children learn about love; how to deal with differences and conflict; and how to be kind, thoughtful and respectful by observing how their parents treat each other. Our actions always speak louder then our words.
A father’s love is just as important to a child’s development as a mother’s, according to a new review of about 100 studies published between 1949 and 2001. That’s why the Good Book states: God’s ideal for every child is to have a father and mother to take care of them.
If you are reading this and are thinking you fall far short, please don’t get discouraged. None of us are perfect.  Many, if not most, of us can look back and see where we could have done better. If the situation demands it, we can always apologize to our children.  And if you are an adult who didn’t have caring parents, please know that your Heavenly Father loves you very much.
For now let’s look to the future, and encourage each other, including our children, to make a difference for good in our little corner of the world.
What this dying world could use is a willing man of God
Who dares to go against the grain and works without applause;
A man who’ll raise the shield of faith, protecting what is pure;
Whose love is tough and gentle; a man whose word is sure.
Men full of compassion, who laugh and love and cry-
Men who’ll face eternity and aren’t afraid to die-
Men who’ll fight for freedom and honor once again-
God just needs a few good men.

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