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June 2014


From time to time I receive emails from young men who tell me how difficult it is to find a good wife, and they usually end with the question, “How do I find one?”
I always begin with the simple reply: Firstly you must make yourself the best that you can be. Like begets like. If you are unreliable, untrustworthy, lazy, disloyal, amongst other ungodly qualities, you will most likely only attract women with the same qualities.
Instead of chasing after this one and that one, step back and take a good hard look at your own qualities, both the good ones and bad ones. Ask yourself, "Would I make a good husband and father?"
Study the Bible to see if you have the qualities of a good Christian. Are you obeying God's commandments? Are you endeavoring to have a good job, so that you could provide well for your family?
You must be known to be an honest and kind man amongst your neighbors and workmates.
Let me encourage you to study the words and teachings of Jesus in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John; these tell all of us how Christ wants to help us to be true ambassadors for Him. This instruction will, in turn, lead you to become the best husband you can be.
In 1 Timothy 3, Paul gives the qualities expected of a good Deacon, which, I believe, are also the qualities expected in a good husband. Paul even poses the following question in verses 4 and 5: "If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he work for God?"
Another important text is found in Ephesians 5:25 – "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it." As I have often said, if husbands would follow this admonition, wives would adore their husbands.
So, if you are looking for a good wife, take a breather and stop looking. Instead, focus on your relationship with God. Allow Him, by following His Word, to become all that he wants you to be, and in His good time, He will lead you to the very special woman that He is already preparing for you.
May God bless all you young men with wisdom, courage, kindness, strength (never be a wimp) and the overwhelming love of God.
Shalom (peace),
Beverley Carter

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